I really enjoyed this weeks topic: parenting. I love to hear different theories on the best way to praise, discipline, and raise kids. The theories that we learned about teaches parents to recognize a behavior that a child is exhibiting, identify the child's true need, then learning ways the parents can meet the child's needs. For example, a child may be very touchy and physical with others to the point that it is irritating. A parent can recognize this behavior and identify that the child wants attention and physical contact. Then, his or her mother and father can provide the physical contact the child feels is missing from his or her life. The discussion we had concerning this theory made me think about my own younger siblings. Their behavior has new meaning now and I feel more confident in my ability to help them get their needs met instead of just getting frustrated. I also feel like learning this theory has made me a better babysitter and nanny. Kids behave much better and have a lot more fun when they feel that they are taken care of and considered important.

This week we discussed family finances. I think this is an extremely valuable subject to discuss, especially in these difficult financial times. Unfortunately greed, pride, and unwise purchases have caused many families to get trapped in high amounts of debt. These financial issues produce large amounts of stress on the husband and wife which in turn affects the marriage. If these issues aren't worked through divorce is often the result. Spouses need to make sure their finances are in order. This takes a lot of honesty and unselfishness. Another issue that is arising from these economic crises is women leaving their children and going back to the workplace. I think it is extremely beneficial for mothers to be with their children in the home. Though some situations make this not possible for some families, situations where it can work should seriously consider having the mother come back to the home. Children are blessed immensely when their mothers are there to help and teach them every day. I know that when I was young and my mother was present it was a huge blessing in my life. I felt closer to my mother and we had a closer relationship.

One of the topics we discussed this week was the concept of family counsels. We looked to the first presidency and the quorum of the twelve apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints for an example. The way the leaders of the church have counsels and make decisions is divine and inspired. Through their methods they are able to make important choices regarding the the kingdom of God without getting into contentious arguments. This is amazing to me. It is extremely difficult to discuss an important topic with someone without getting heated, especially when the two of you have opposing viewpoints. Yet through the guidance of the spirit, they are able to acheive this goal. However, this is not just a tool the prophets and apostles can use. The Lord and His servants encourage us to use it as well as we strive to carry out the affairs of His kingdom. Bishops, Elders quorum presidents, Relief Society presidents, and auxillary leaders should also be using the counseling method. It allows for all to have their voice be heard and through the combined effort of many pondering and praying inspired answers will come. Learning about the counseling method made me more excited to implement it in my own family in the future. I think it's important that children's voices and opinions are heard and taken into serious and prayerful consideration. I know that when my parents included me in their decisions I felt respected and was much more willing to accept and go along with them. If i was excluded I felt the need to be rebelling and uncooperative. I hope that I will be able to get to the point where I can discuss something with someone without letting contention creep in.

This week we talked about the sensitive subject of Family Crisis. A crisis would include abuse, divorce, death, unemployment, and anything else that would be difficult for the family to experience. These situations are serious and painful and I do not want to undermine the weight they have in our lives, however, we learned that if you change your perspective of them they can be extremely beneficial to our growth and development not only as individuals but as families. Unemployment can be an opportunity to acquire a better job, a divorce is an opportunity for parents to become happier and form better, healthier relationships. I know that for me, experiencing a recent family death has become an opportunity for me to strengthen my testimony of the plan of salvation and the importance of eternal families. Sometimes it is hard to remember to put things into a more positive perspective, however if we look at things from a more optimistic viewpoint we can learn to grow from our difficult experiences and ultimately become closer as a family. This is an extremely valuable tool that I will definitely be

This week we discussed physical intimacy and its importance in marriage. Sex is extremely important not only to have children but to create closeness between husband and wife. Sometimes it is looked upon as bad or inappropriate, however, it is actually beautiful and important to the relationship between spouses. Outside of marriage sex is wrong. We also talked about how we would teach our children about physical intimacy. I think the best strategy is to be very open and clear with your children. One concern I had is when or what age I would start talking about sex with my children. After thinking about it I decided that I would teach them about their bodies starting from a very young age, then let them ask questions as they get older. I also want to make sure that my husband is actively involved with the teaching as well. After this whole week I have realized how grateful I am that my parents have taught me from a very young age. Now I think I am pretty smart and well informed about physical intimacy. This will definitely be helpful to me when I get married.  

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day and very appropriately we discussed different types of love this past week. I really learned how to differentiate between what's considered infatuation and what's considered true love. Personally I think true love is when you sincerely want the best for the person, even if they've hurt you. I think you know that you could be with someone for a lifetime if they make you a better person and if you like the person they've influenced you to be. Infatuation is a lot more selflish. I think that when you are infatuated with someone you do things for them because you want them to react a certain way, which will make them like you more. Hopefully this Valentines Day we can all let the people we truly love feel it.

This week we were learning about family systems. A family system is the way your family functions on a daily basis. Each member plays an important role in it's functioning. Next week we have a project due that involves making a visual representation of our own personal family systems and I'm having a hard time figuring out a system that could represent my family.  One example given in class was the human body. Each organ or part represented a member of the family. For example, the two halves of the brain represented the mother and the father. The brain controls all that our bodies do but can still be influenced by other parts of the body. In our families, our mothers and fathers usually control what our families do but they can be influenced by other members. Being a health science major, I thought this metaphor was genius. I could really relate to it because I feel that the body system is something I am pretty comfortable with and I find extremely interesting. Comparing it to a family really helped me understand the concept of a family system even more. Now I'm trying to think of a way I could best visualize my own personal family. Can any of you think of  way to represent your own personal family systems?

One thing I've realized when learning about this is that a family system can really help us better understand the important roles we each play within the family unit, as well as positive things about how our family functions and things that might need to be changed. I've kind of made it a goal to discover what each member of my family does to help our family function and thank them and be appreciative of that more often. Hopefully within the next week I will be able to figure out how I can best represent this functioning!

This is my first post for my Family Relations blog! My Family Relations class has been assigned to make a blog and update it throughout the semester. Every week I will be posting something I learned or an insight I had relating to the family. Hopefully I will be able to share something that will help or be interesting to someone else. So here goes...

This week I was thinking about families and the role they play in the Lord's plan. I think for us as individuals our families help us to become more like Christ. On this earth, no one will irritate us, hurt us, or make us more angry. At the same time, no one will bring us more happiness and joy. Our families teach us to be more patient, more forgiving, and more loving. For this reason, shouldn't we treat them with the utmost love and respect? Unfortunately, we tend to to take our families forgranted more often then our friends. I know I have been guilty of that. Hopefully we can all more fully appreciate our fathers, mothers, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents, spouses and all other members of our families.